The contrast between the listening experience and what you get when you watch the music video is amazing. When listening to the song I got the vibe that maybe it was about relationships in general, probably abusive. While watching the video it completely elevated the experience because on top of the awesome song we now know that it’s about a gay couple. Since the music video doesn’t give us names yet these characters do have a story that matters I’ll be naming them Adam(beanie) and John(fluff on top) just to make it easier.

“We were born sick you heard them say it”

“I was born sick but I love it”

These two lines are right in the beginning to the scene is not entirely set. All this talk about sin so I think about the original sin of being born. Since Eve at the forbidden, she messed up humanity and since we reap the benefits of the fruit of good and evil we are born as sinners. These two lines together also give off “everybody sins, it’s not a big deal” vibes. Why should I force myself to fit into a perfect square if all of humanity is super blob-like? And besides, being a blob is just so much more fun. In the second line, instead of being ashamed of the circumstances of our birth, we have pride. We know what is good and what is evil, besides our opposable thumbs it’s what separates us from animals, a monkey can type, yeah, but it can not do this. 

In the music video, we have a complete shift in the story. Since we are told the story of the gay couple in a very anti-gay area, we know this is referencing the homophobia that Adam and John grew up around. All the times they heard “that’s so gay” and Hillary Duff didn’t step. All the times they heard about their distant cousin that’s “a little… you know?” but nobody ever elaborated. Comparing queerness to sickness was done to reflect how it quite literally was, and still is, treated as a disease “Praying the gay away” is still very much a thing people do. In the great blue state of New York, we cringe at people who say “That’s so gay” (right?) but not everyone is as progressive as New York progress itself as in mainstream media. Countless times I heard “miss me with that gay shit” with people’s arms up by their shoulders paired with them backing up in disgust. Catching queerness definitely isn’t real but the fear of it definitely is.

Complete 180, “But I love it” is Adam and John diving into their full identity in spite of the last paragraph. If who they are is sick, and they love themselves entirely, then they love being sick. That’s what the whole Pride movement is about. Being in a world that oppresses you for who you love and still choosing to stand up and be happy with yourself.

“She tells me worship in the bedroom”

Listening to it makes me think of maybe some sort of relationship where one has to hide a part of themselves from the other person. Even in my own friendships, I find myself talking about certain topics with some friends but not with others. Not having certain people that you can talk about your interest with feels like you can really only have fun with it at home, specifically in the bedroom or just wherever your fun space is. Growing up with a sister my age, I’ve lost track of the amount of times I was told “I’m actually watching something right now” in the middle of me talking about something cool that just happened. If I want to yap for two minutes straight about how fun yet uneventful my day was, I should be able to so for that reason this line really resonated with me.

In the video, it is meant to be an allegory for hiding your sexuality so you won’t be ostracized, or worse. Think of all those homophobes that say “I don’t mind it just, not around the children. Keep that stuff at home”. Imagine going to a restaurant and saying “I don’t mind the pasta, it’s just gross” and acting like you didn’t just insult the chef. Referring to the boyfriend as “she” makes me think of those old-timey poets or historical figures who had a long-term best friend of the same sex that they lived with and definitely did not date.

I once had the pleasure of reading Bisclarvet by Marie de France, the story is set in medieval times. It was about a man who disappears for a few days a week from his wife in the middle of the night. The wife begs and begs for him to tell her what is going on and he reveals that he is a werewolf. He must take off his clothes to transform into a wolf and put them back on to turn back into a human. Later, he transforms once more and she hides his clothes, trapping him as a wolf forever. At least that’s what she wanted, everything is (kinda) fixed in the end.

“I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife”

In the song, back to relationships (not strictly romantic), I was thinking something like Purple Hearts if it were multicultural. In one culture people oppress the other. Telling them the sins could also be interpreted as just being vulnerable with someone then they use that against you. Have you ever told someone a pet peeve of yours then they start to do it on purpose? Instead of just grinding your gears it just full-on enrages you because now it’s because of the principle of the action being thrown on top of the irritation.

In the music video, we see that whenever this line is sung a clip always flashes of the couple kissing, even while John gets tracked down by an anti-gay hate group that violently attacks them. The act of telling someone your sins is perhaps meant to be merely expressing the thought of being gay. Adam did not exactly “sharpen his knife” as a way to stab John but since John did just pretty much get lynched right after hooking up with Adam, his first instinct might be to blame Adam. Also, John was the only one to suffer violence in the music video, Adam spent the whole time running to John while he was frantically packing his bags, not fast enough since they grabbed him and trashed his home.

My experience in consuming both of these pieces of art separately is what allowed me to take away both halves of my analysis. If I had jumped into the music video first I would not have been able to have an original take to compare my new one to. Having the queerness of it all be hidden and right in your face at the same time is what created the amazing whiplash I experienced after watching the music video for the first time, minds were blown.